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Asheo and Mistiet
by Robin Kirkman
Act 1, Scene 5
In the kitchen. Lots of servants running around, and a few even cooking! Imagine that, cooking in a kitchen. Wow.
All the servants are griping about everything.
Servant 1: Where's that scullery maid? I've got a pot to clean. Argh, she's a devil I swear.
Servant 2: When politeness lies in one man's hands, and they're unwashed,
-that's- a sad thing. Go wash your hands.
Servant 1: What do you know? Ahh! My flombay!
Flombay lights on fire.
Don't sue me for spelling it wrong, please?
Servant 2, obviously rivals with #1, quenches the flombay fire with a fire extinguisher. Servant 1 is not pleased.
Servant 1: Why you little...
Enter head cook.
Cook: My kitchen! Both of you, clean that up! Must I do everything myself?
Ok, now we fade to a ballroom. This is where the actual party is.
In one corner is the heavy metal band, ready to begin at Giovanni's command.
Giovanni is on the side of the room opposite a big pair of doors. He is wearing his trademark black suit, and lighting is bad enough that you can't see his face, only his body. Typical.
Giovanni claps his hands, about to give an order.
Giovanni: Bring in the guests.
The huge doors on the opposite side of the room open, and a stream of party goers enter.
Giovanni sturns to the band, and lifts his right hand to his forhead, touching it with his fingers.
Giovanni: Gentlemen, you may begin.
Since I happen to like them, the band is Korn. Giovanni lowers his hand, and they start to play my favorite song of theirs, "All in the family." I won't go into the lyrics, they have a "Parental Warning! Explicit Lyrics!" sticker on them.
Giovanni steps into the crowd, who are now dancing, to talk with some of the guests. Talk may not be the right word, more like scream with them.
Seeing nobody paying attention to him, Giovanni gets an annoyed look, but waits until the end of the song for his speech.
Song ends. I love that song! Go find it on Korn:Follow the Leader.
Giovanni: Welcome ladies, gentlemen, and anything else which has joined us tonight, to the Team Rocket annual party.
Giovanni is having too much fun at this, he just -loves- public speaking. He goes postal and starts blathering random tidbits of info.
Giovanni: Guys, better not dance with girls wearing shoes. High heels, at least, that is. If it's sandals she's wearing, she'll dance you to your doom. Kinda like my wife!
Giovanni makes a rare smile at the mention of Jessie, then leaves the podium, which is quickly knocked over. He runs off to a small control room overlooking the party.
Giovanni: That lighting is all wrong! Fix it now!
And it's too hot! Turn on the AC!
Also, consider yourself fired as soon as you're done.
Giovanni's startled servant adjusts these settings, as Giovanni runs out to the party again. There, he meets an old member of Team Rocket, well past his dancing days. Seriously, this guy is like 60!
Giovanni: Come, sit down with me. We are both past our moshing days.
How long has it been for you and I?
TR Member: Nearly thirty years, I reckon.
Giovanni: Really? I never expected that long. So, could you entertain me
with stories of Team Rocket when you were The Boss?
Giovanni is quickly absorbed in conversation with the former boss.
Now we get to check out Ash. Actually, Ash is checking out Misty.
Ash: Who's that beautiful girl dancing with Brock?
Servant he asked: I do not know, sir.
Ash: Gee, she teaches supermodels modesty.
She is like a treasured diamond earring, to rich for use.
Servant: Very well sir.
Ash realizes he said that outloud, then blushes.
Ash: I thought I knew love before? Gary was right.
I've never seen anyone so beautifull before.
Ash does one of those heart-eye-popping things, and leans on a railing to gaze at Misty, who -does- look rather nice. :)
Who should be listening, of course, but Meowth....
Meowth: I know that voice! This boy is from Oak!
Meowth turns to the servant Ash had asked.
Meowth: Go get me my gold paw gloves, the ones with the titanium claws.
Meowth speaks to himself again.
Meowth: How dare he come here, to laugh at Team Rocket.
I'll tear him to shreds!
I cannot morally hold myself back from killing this runt.
Meowth is intercepted by Giovanni, who has gotten up.
Giovanni: Why kinsmen Meowth! How are you? And where are you storming
off to?
Meowth: Uncle, -that- is an Oak. He's an idiot who has come here only to scorn
us. Only to spite us. Meowth, dats right.
Giovanni: Isn't that Ash?
Meowth: Yes, the tyrant is him.
Giovanni: Settle down, leave him alone.
Pallet brags of Ash as a moral and wellcontrolled youth.
If you cannot get control yourself, you'll be fired.
Meowth: I can not endure that twit.
Meowth scratches Giovanni, which is definately a bad move.
Giovanni is angry, and speaks in a tone that shows it.
Giovanni: He shall be endured.
He will! I swear he will!
Am I the master here of you?
God help you if you trouble him.
Meowth: Uncle, it is shamefull to permit his presence.
Giovanni: How dare you argue. If you do not submit to my will now,
I
will find a new top cat. I'll hire that persian you hate.
Meowth: I submit, but grudgingly.
Meowth growls.
Meowth: I'll be back for you, Ash.
Meowth turns and runs out of th eroom.
Now we get to look at Ash, who is off in a corner with Misty. Ash looks rather good too, and Misty definately likes him. Enough, in fact, that they happen to be making out. That's why they're off in a corner.
My, they are both quite horny. Good god, they both just met a few minutes ago, and they're making out in each others arms. I wish -my- love life was that easy.
Ash: You are -so- beautifull.
Amazingly, Ash is keeping his composure. Wow.
Misty: Shouldn't we be dancing, not kissing?
Ash: Maybe. I'd rather kiss you though.
Misty: We can kiss while dancing.
Misty has a thing about dancing, apparently.
Ash: Just plain kissing is better.
Misty: I supppose you're right.
The new couple go for a contest, who can kiss longest without breathing. That would make a great french kiss, if only I were there. :(
Hey look! It's Nurse Joy, and she just saw her charge off in a corner practically fucking with a guest. She is -most- disturbed.
Misty says a brief "Hey", as she is dragged away by the nurse. Ash is just kinda standing there, he seems to have gone on the no air kiss for a bit -too- long.
Joy doesn't get the girl very far away from her new found lover, though. In fact, only about 3 feet, because Misty is actively trying to get back to him.
Ash has just woken up from his dream kiss trance, and is now eyeing the nurse-misty duo.
Nurse Joy: Misty, your mom needs you RIGHT NOW!
Ash: Her mom? Who -is- her mom? I have -got- to meet her.
Joy: Her mother is the lady of the house. Most wise and virtuous, she is. I remember when she first hired me, I was just a pokemon doctor. Now, I have raised my Misty to a wonderfullness none could compete with.
Joy is on one of her speech frenzies again :)
Ash, to himself: She's from Team Rocket?
Oh no! My first true love is my enemy.
Ash gets his combination confused&sad face, about to cry.
Joy drags Misty away, off to some other part of the party, probably wherever Jessie is.
Enter Gary, cynnical as ever.
Gary: Yo, Ashie-boy! It's time to go! Past your bedtime.
Giovanni steps up. He knows the two boys are from Oak, but he remembers the treats of Officer Jenny if either are harmed. Instead, he is polite to them.
Giovanni: Don't leave yet. This party has much more to go.
Not even all the pizza has been eaten!
Gary: Sorry, sir, but we must.
Gary pinches Ash, who responds with an "Ow! That hurt!". Gary proceeds to leave, and Ash follows his "friend".
Now we get to see Misty again. She's right over by Nurse Joy, in the opposite corner.
Misty: Who is that boy?
Joy: That's the son of Tiberio.
Misty: I knew that. I mean -that- boy.
Misty points.
Joy: That is young Petruchio.
Misty: I knew -that- also. Who is the boy I was making out with?
Joy: I dunno. He looked good, though. You've got good taste.
Misty: Thanks. Now go ask him his name.
Nurse Joy runs off to Ash, and asks his name. She gives him a funny look, then runs back to Juliet. Nurse Joy does a lot of running these days.
Joy: His name is Ash, and he's with Professor Oak.
He is the only son of your worst enemy.
Misty: Oh no.
Misty sits down in that position she gets when she's distressed, you know, where she spreads her legs at the knees?
Misty, whispering: My only love, sprung from my only hate!
This'll probably end up sad too, just like Romeo and Juliet.
At least it's romantic.
Joy: Huh? I couldn't hear you.
Misty: Never mind.
Jessie calls out for Misty. Jessie, by the way, is offstage.
Joy: Oops, I forgot! We gotta go!
Nurse Joy grabs Misty's arm and runs offstage with her.
The lights go dim. This completes Act 1.